I wrote this yesterday, but lacked the internet signal to post. :)
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Dear Readers,
Sitting in the Chinatown chapel with an afternoon ahead of
me, it seems only appropriate for me to write a blog entry.
It’s been four months and seven days since I returned home
from my mission in the New York New York North mission. My mission was a time of immense growth and
spiritual development, and the last four months have been a crash course in
real-life application of what I learned there.
Going back to real life, even real life at a school run by my church,
has been somewhat surreal. There have
been nights I have cried myself to sleep right alongside the days I have been
so grateful to be home I could explode.
I have thrown myself back into my creative love, theatre, and been a
part of incredible productions, using much of what I learned as a missionary to
fuel my actions and my art.
I have become the return missionary I swore I would never
be, one that jumps at an opportunity to swap mission stories, or to just tell
them to (mostly) willing audiences. I
realize now why return missionaries tell the stories. It isn’t to draw attention or to brag about
what we have done, it is so we will never forget the lessons we learned and the
Spirit we felt while serving.
As a return missionary, it is harder to find specific times
to study my scriptures and have good conversations with my Heavenly
Father. There isn’t a little white
handbook telling me what I have to do every day, defining success so I cannot
misunderstand. What there is, though, is
satisfaction at doing what I know God wants me to, joy in temple attendance,
and a whole slew of wonderful experiences that are helping grow my testimony
even more.
Coming home from my mission was hard. I wasn’t sure how I could be as happy as I
was when serving. Looking at my life
now, though, I am happy. I still see miracles
every day. I am inspired by the incredible
people who surround me, and I am so grateful for their influence.
So thank you, people that I love. You make my life a better place. Thanks for supporting me both on and off the
mission, and helping me to be the person I want to be.
Much love,
Caitlin
